In Law's & In Lovers
by kagje94
Summary: In the 1930's a well off english family had two daughters, best friends one might say and as different as night and day. One of them an odd duck in public opinion, the other her parents' pride and joy. However close thosetwo may be, there's always one thing friendschips cannot stand. And in this case for these girls it came in the shape of a tall dark handsome charming gentleman.
1. June 5th 1932

June 5th 1932 – London, Great Britain

It was not something I ever gave much thought before. As I had watched my world moved about around me, I discovered that I found it intriguing to watch people. But this particular subject had not been brought to my attention until my sister denied my request to catch fireflies as mother and father went out with grandmother tonight.  
As of late we'd been allowed to stay at home alone under the mere supervision of our housekeeper Mrs. Fielding. On previous occasion our governess would have looked after us closely. Not anymore. Ms. Morgan, our governess had been released from her duties as of last month, when Quinevere, turned sixteen.

I had wondered aloud, why? Quinn had looked at looked up from the mirror in which she was fixing her dress and had replied; "To meet men of course silly. Mother thinks I should start looking around for a suitable husband. She's very much convinced I'll be in great demand." Her face was most radiant as she spoke. Though Quinn was my best and closed friend in a world I found difficult to understand she often looked down at me and marvelled at how I could possibly understand so little of the ways of the world.

"Men? Why would you want a man?" I had asked. "I'm never gonna get married." I had told her most determinedly.

Why, she had asked as she sat down on the bed tying up her shoelaces, don't you want a nice man to look after you? To have a family, babies? I had frowned. I understood very little of this world Quinn described to me. My mother had very little patience with me. She disliked that fact I was so different from all the other girls my age. I got poorly along with the girls from school. That witch Mary Lennox, from school. She'd messed with my jumper the other week, so that my the end of the day I couldn't fit into it anymore. At first I'd been convinced she'd switched them, for it was too small for me to fit, but as Quinn had pointed out as she had collected me from school, my name label was stitched into the jumper so she couldn't have switched them now could she? The truth remained it didn't fit anymore.  
I spent many hours in the library on my school work, though most days I found it hard to concentrate. Quinn never found it hard to concentrate. She always did was she was told and covered for me when I didn't. So consequently I'd been surprised when Quinn told me she wasn't returning to school for the new year. Instead she would be mastering the arts of sowing and stitching and the most important one in my mother's opinion , entertaining. Oh lord how I hated entertaining. My mother and grandmother would ever so often host tea parties or dinner parties and as of late with the sole purpose of finding Quinevere a husband.

But that meant hours of sitting up straight, making small talk with strangers or near strangers, attempting to pour the tea into the saucers without spilling the tea onto the perfect white table cloths, answering perfectly polite to questions that were appointed to you. Oh how I hated that. Dinners were not as bad, as I could easily wandered off or have a book in my lap during dinner.

But tonight apparently was a whole new attempt at finding Quinn a suitable husband. There was a party at the Lockharts' place. A lovely house with an even better view as Quinn had described it to me after a prior tea party. Quinn had mention ever so briefly to me that she was not interested in the slightest in Mr. & Mrs Lockhart's son Duncan. She had said him to be dull and hardly good looking. After that she'd launched into a animated monologue about The Scott boy, what was his name again? I forgot.

I was told to say home tonight. To prevent any further embarrassment to the family name. My mother had said. I couldn't honestly be bothered with the parties and was glad they'd finally given up on towing me alone to these events. As all three of them left the house I ran up the stairs to my parents bedroom, in particular my mother dressing room. Oh how I loved that room.

I had made the mistake of asking my father the other night if I could please stay in school, as I had reached the age at which Quinn had left school, to focus on sowing and stitching and entertaining.

My father had not been very pleased with my request, no daughter of mine shall work for her money. He'd thundered. He'd been very cross with me. I had wept, begged, but not avail. I would leave school and follow in my sister's footsteps, as of next school year.

I had dreamed of making money myself, going to university, buying my own home. And maybe in the far future if it suited me, maybe I would take a husband. But my father het very different plans for me.

I wandered into my mother's dressing room. I was very much in love with my mother nightgown. It was very, very soft blue silk. The kind that flowed over your thighs. I untied my dress and slipped it off, letting it puddle to the floor. Quickly I pulled the super soft silk night gown over my head as I slipped it on. I marvelled at its feel. I twirled in front of the big mirror and admired myself.

I remembered how night after night as Quinn and I had gone to bed, she'd gone on and on about what men wanted from a wife and why I should start behaving. Supposedly I was bad for her reputation. The James girl, nice girl, only she has such an odd duck for a sister such a shame, people would say. Quinn was very kind about it. She'd defend me on the streets whenever someone would whispered rude things about me.

But at the same time she'd begged me time and time again to behave, to act normal. People didn't read books during a social gathering or a dance. That last party where I had hid in the service kitchen with the personnel for some peach and quiet, had ended me up right here. At home, banned from this party. At the party my mother and sister would say how terribly sorry they were I couldn't make it but that I had fallen ill with the flu and that I was at home in bed.

As I heard the front door shut and was awoken from my thought and franticly slipped out of the nightgown and back into my dress, hurrying back to my bedroom, before Mother or father would find out.

I rolled underneath the covers just in time before Quinn opened the door to our bedroom and came in. Gently she asked in I was awake. I sat up in my bed and nodded.

Immediately she began gushing over the night. "Oh Haley! You won't believe how wonderful tonight was. The people were so nice! Especially Mr. & Mrs. Scott, you know from Highstreet. Their son, Nathaniel is so wonderful, don't you think.

I'd sat up and shrugged sullenly. I haven't met him, I'd replied. For a while she went on about the men at the party. How they were all so nice, but some of them so dull, while other so smart. How she knew that they like tall girls and pretty legs and how by the end of the night they would try and squeeze your bottom, because they'd had a little too much to drink.

As we both lay in bed that night Quinn asked. "Haley? Why can't you be like everybody else?"

I thought about that for a while. I was everything most girls weren't and apparently not what men wanted either. Short, spry, smart and a tad rude.

I sat up in my bed and nudged Quinn, "Because everybody else is already someone, I want to be me."

I turned around and lay back down, closing my eyes. Maybe daddy wouldn't me so cross with me tomorrow, maybe I would be allowed to go to school. After all who would want to marry her, no man wanted a stubborn wife, who wouldn't listen and couldn't entertain.


	2. June 8th 1932

_**Hi, everyone!  
I filed the first chapter to see how you'd respond. And though I recieved only one review, I did see a lot of followers so I'll take that as a good sign.  
I hope i'll be able to continue this flow in the story, which I find very difficult, and hope you'll like it.  
Here is chapter two, that chapters are on dates, so they'll be short, but there might come more chapters at once in the future, once the story picks up the pace. Anyway, enjoy!**_

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_**June 8th 1932 – Londen, Great Britain.**_

Later, that following week, I proceeded along High Street on a foggy afternoon. As part of my education as a wife, in the teachings of my mother and grandmother I was on my to collect Haley from school. Since I had left school to take up my social education full time, I travelled to collect Haley from school every afternoon, just before tea time.

The streets of London were undoubtedly unusually foggy for the time of year. For it was rare weather for the early days of June.

Haley and I had been born on Java, where father was as missionary. After my mother had fallen ill, they had decided it would be far better for us to return to England in case mother's condition should return, they then could use grandmother's support. England had for the both of us a terrible shock. So cold. For weeks after arrival we'd worn all the clothes we owned atop each other, until grandmother took us for a fitting at Mrs. Beaumonts, she owned a dressmaking shop.

Back in Indië Haley's behaviour had often been a problem, but always disregarded as the misbehaving of a young child, a late bloomer.

Now in Londen Haley's increasingly stubborn behaviour had had many more consequences and as of late I had pleaded with her to start behaving.

She was never without a book. At several social gathering over the years Haley had towed along a book. People started referring to her as the odd duck. Saying she was strange and calling her names. She'd had a bit of a row with some of the girls from school. All the time she spend to herself.

I always defended her when people said rude things, but deep down I always hoped she'd start act more like all the other girls. If only she wasn't so stubborn, so set on doing what she liked rather then what had to be done.

I quickly descended the steps of the tube station, taking hold of the scarf around my head.

One time I heard this lady in Mrs. Beaumont's shop say Haley was the absolute perfect example of my mother's lacking disciplinary education and an absolute disgrace to the family name. I was very shocked by this. Haley sure was a little strange and surely I had wished she'd behave more like most girls, like me, but a disgrace? Surely she wasn't that bad?

But then the other week she'd sat reading a book during a dance, in the kitchen! Oh how cross mother had been with her. They forbade her to come to the Lockhart's party on Saturday. Secretly I'd been so relieved that for once I didn't have to worry about Haley. I had had so much fun at the party. Duncan, the Lockharts' boy introduced me to Nathaniel Scott such a handsome gentleman he was. The Scott's had also been so nice, assured us we should come to tea some time, all of us, when Haley was better. Haley. Haley would surely make fools of us again.

Mother said Nathaniel could very well be a good candidate for marriage. He was such a gentleman, he'd been so kind and asked all kinds of questions.

As I reached the school gates I found Haley sitting on the front steps of the school. Predictably with a book in her lap well engrossed in her book. I walked up to her. 'Hi, how was your day?" I asked but she did not reply. A few girls in the school yard watched and sniggered from behind their hands as girls did. I gritted my teeth, she always did that. The stupid book!

Mother had once said that an education on a young lady was admirably and appreciated, but too much found rather inappropriate and as in insult to men, for would seem incapable. Not wanting to make a scene I pulled the book from her lap and closed it. "Hey! Give me my book back!" She shouted. "No. You weren't even listening to me!"

She got up, dusted her skirt and snatched the book from my hand, tucking it under her arm, her school bag over her shoulder and marched out of the schoolyard.

As I caught up with her a few yards outside the gates she started shouting at me. "I heard you okay? It was just really interesting I just wanted to finish my page."

"Hush! Lower your voice Haley that's no way to speak in the streets!" I insisted. Haley rolled with her eyes, something mother always said was a very un attractive quality in a lady.

"You're starting you sound like mother, Quinny." Haley whined. "That's a good thing Haley, why can't you see that. Mother is such great woman! I mean look at what's she has!" We walked in quite a quick pace towards to tube station.

"I mean she has father, an amazing man and she'd has us and look at the house, given it's grandmother's, but as she dies it will be mothers. She'd such an accomplished wife, I really wish you could see that.

"I never want to be like mother." Haley had said. "I want to go to university, to study something important. I find that so much more satisfactory Quinn!" I had sighed, the air released forming little clouds in the foggy air. The most bizarre June temperature was making this day seem, in hindsight, even more dark and gloomy.

As we passed the corner, I saw far back in the fog a familiar face. The Scott's boy, Nathaniel. Oh how marvellous was that. Behind him I could make out the foggy shape of the Lockhart's son, Duncan.

"Oh Nathaniel, it that you? How marvellous to walk into you here!"

Nathaniel turned around and greeted us with his ever so charming smile. Oh how lovely was he. I was fairly sure he like me above all the other girls that fancied him. He was in great demand, among us girls. "Hello, Quinn, is that you. How great to see you." He greeted, and ever the gentleman he kissed my hand, how old fashioned of him.

Then he turned his attention to Haley, who'd slugged behind, setting his sights on her. In hindsight this is when it happened. I should have known right there in that look.

"With whom I have the pleasure?" A question obviously appointed to Haley, who simply was once again too out of this world to take notice. "This is my sister, Haley." I answered nudging Haley to take notice. Haley bolted out of it and smiled on cue.

"It's very nice to meet you, Haley. Nathan Scott." He held out his hand waiting for her to give him hers. Being the stubborn girl she was, she merely nodded smiled, mumbled nice to meet you too and just quite managed not to roll her eyes at him.

I quickly told him goodbye, saying that we must go, and ushered her into the tube station. Scolding at her once we shut the front doorof our home behind us.

"Are you ever gonna behave Haley? You were such a huge embarrassment! To me, to mother, to the whole family! You know people stopped inviting us for party because of you! Saying you're a disgrace to the family! Did you know? You are ruining my life! How would a gentleman like Nathaniel what to be associated with a girl with such a sister. I stormed off into the house leaving Haley behind in the foyer.

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	3. January 3rd 1933

**Hi everyone R&R!**

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**January 3rd 1933 – London, Great Britain**

Quinn wouldn't stop talking about the New year's party at the Scott's. Truly it hadn't been all that exciting. Quinn had pulled me out of the chair telling me to put my book away, again.

I sure hoped Quinn would find her husband soon She deserved it. She really was so good at being a wife. She'd pulled me up by the arms, causing my book to fall out of my hands and land on the floor with a loud thud. Several people had looked up, staring at us, whispering.

Quinn turned bright red. Flush, tears welling up in her eyes. And then as soon as they came they were gone. I'm sure a talent she must have master under mother's reign, for mother always said that crying in public was weak. And then 'Us women' are portrayed as weak enough without us actually displaying weaknesses. So no crying, keep your emotions in check. That's not just for crying. It went for Angry, and affection as well.

I was staring out of our bedroom window as Quinn desperately tried to fix my handy work. In September I'd been, against my every will, been taken out of school. And so now I had to learn to stitch the beads onto my purses. I had attempted for the little beaded purse I carried to New Years, but had ended up ripping a stitch and the beads had rolled everywhere! Quinn had quickly fixed my work, so mother would never now. She always did that. Though I hardly understood this world she craved so much, I loved my sister dearly. She really was always there for me. Whenever I was cold or sad, she'd take the time to warm me up, crawling into bed with me or comfort me.

Quinn was finishing the hem of a new dress she'd made, when suddenly grandmother burst into our room. "Quinevere the Scott boy is here, you have to change. Mother is leading him into the drawing room as we speak. He asked for you dear!" Quinn quickly dropped the dress on the bed and jumped up. "Nathaniel is here? For me?"

"Yes, now we need you to change, quickly. He'll be wondering where we are!" Grandmother pulled open our wardrobe.

"You as well Haley. Quickly now. I'll be going down, to tell them you'll be right down." Grandmother left the room, quickly.

Quinn seemed over the moon as she'd been for days now. Can you help me with this dress Haley. She'd asked me. I tied her dress and did up her hair.

As we both padded into the drawing room, the Scott boy rose from his seat and kissed Quinn's hand and reached for mine as well.

I seated myself as far away from the conversation as humanly possible without mother objecting. The tea was poured perfectly into the saucers Nathaniel asked the polite questions. "How are Quinn? Did you enjoy the party at New years?"

"Oh I'm marvellous. I had such a good time at you party. Your parents were the perfects hosts, so lovely." Quinn replied.

I found it hard not to rolled my eyes as they small talked around the obvious reason a perfectly grown up gentleman of more than twenty years old was having tea with two older woman and two young girls. The ridiculousness of the situation was beyond me. I just thought that Nathaniel, was a bit stiff and dull and looked somewhat ridiculous as he sipped tea from a cup that had an ear hardly big enough to put his pinkie finger through.

"Haley?" I looked around finding everyone staring at me, and concluded someone asked a question had had completely missed. "Haley, Nathaniel asked you a question." Mother emphasised.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I missed you question." I smiled. Nathaniel grinned at me, some amusement I detected. "I was just saying how lovely the garden is, and your mother told me you now quite a bit about the garden from your studies. So I was wondering if you'd like to show me around."

Hell no, I was I thought, but I couldn't very well tell him that. Plus wasn't it Quinn he was courting anyhow? "Uhm, No. I can't"

"You can't walk me through the garden?" He asked, obviously half amused and the other half clearly surprised.

"No, I can't. I have... I have hurt my ankle the other day, so walking is a little difficult right now. But I'm sure Quinn would love to show you around. She know quite a bit about the garden as well" I sputtered and coughed, finishing with a polite regretful smile.

He seemed somewhat disappointed for a moment before a smile set back on his features and he escorted Quinn out to the garden.

As the door closed behind them I released the breath I'd been holding. Quinn will be so pleased with me. I surely don't understand why they play this game, they all know what it is about. All of them, all the men that come to tea here, they're all suitors. All coming to see if were the girl for them.

Given, they all came for Quinn. They all wanted Quinn, after all, thank the lord for that, I wasn't considered wife material to, well.. all of them.

That night, Quinn came up to our room and flung her arms around me. "Oh Haley! He is so wonderful! Thank you! Oh I could love him. And of all girl I know he fancies me! How marvellous!"

Quinn paced through the room. 'I'm so excited I can't still still! Can you believe it Haley?"

I sat down in the window sill and nodded mutely. I was so happy for Quinn. She really deserved it. And Nathaniel was probably a good man for her. I'd hardly call him indecent. As a matter of fact he was always just a little too polite for my liking. But I supposed we'd already established I was not the marrying kind anyway.

Though the library offered quite a few good books, to keep up my studies, aside from the very domestic ones, it came obviously nowhere near, university! I saw my life I a way of doing something useful. But as it was now my mother was binding me to this house until I finally married someone.

So all I could do was make sure no one would want to marry me, now wasn't it? Surely if I didn't misbehave as they all thought I did, they would be marrying me against my own will, so keen my mother was on marrying me off. The first poor fellow with a little capital she would hand me off to.

Lucky for Quinn, she'd get what she'd deserve. I utterly wonderful man, with plenty capital and a great family name.

"Mrs. Nathaniel Scott, Mrs. Quinevere Scott. How does that sound?" She grinned at me. "fantastic Quinny." I told her. "You'll make a great Mrs. Scott."

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	4. January 15th 1933

**Hi everyone, I know I haven't said much about this story yet, but I was wondering what you guys were thinking so far. And where you would like to see this going, now I have an idea of where, but I need the inspiration to fill in the idea. So be sure to leave a review with your thoughts and have fun reading!**

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**January 15th 1933 – London, Great Britain**

It was a crispy cold snowy afternoon, January 15th. I remember, because this where I first realised it. I was walking home from school, on my way to the tube station, when in the thick fog I sensed someone behind me. I quickened my pace, trying to distance myself from whoever was behind me. Two blocks further I realised I was being followed by this person, and that he was catching up to me. I gripped the leather strap of my schoolbag in my hand and quickened my pace some more.

As a result the person took a sprint and when I felt a hand on my shoulder I turned around and slapped the strap of my schoolbag in his face.

"Ouch! What on earth was that for!" an awfully familiar voice shouted at me. I looked up to find Nathaniel Scott standing in front of my, both hands covering his left eye.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry! but why on earth were creeping up on me!" I exclaimed. He chuckled and slowly released his eye. "I wasn't creeping up on you, I came to talk to you two blocks ago, but you took off so quickly! I didn't mean to scare you!" I looked wearily at him, assessing him. "I'm sorry, I suppose the weather has me slightly freak out." I smiled. He looked ridiculous with the slowly appearing black eye.

"What did you want to ask me?" He frowned.

"Ask?" he asked. "oh right. No. I have nothing I wanted to ask you. I just saw you walk and I thought I'd say 'Hi'."

As we were now walking together towards to tube station, I asked; "you chased me two blocks and risked a black eye to say 'Hi', surely there is something more pressing for you to do?"

He chuckled, smiling a fairly typical smile. "Not really. How's your sister?"

"Oh she's great still waiting to hear from you."

"Oh, well I should write to her then, how are your studies? Have you great anything new as of late?"

"oh I have. I was reading this fascinating book about birds and their life patterns, I haven't had t chance to finish it though, mother's teachings have kept me from my studies. Oh this is my tube. Thank you for walking me."

I attempted to make a quick exit as we'd arrived at the tube station but the Scott boy, grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I was lovely to see you again, Haley." And as I turned to leave and he released my hand I felt a note pushed into my hand. But when I looked up he'd already gone up in the throng of people leaving the underground.

Arriving home I pulled the note, I had push in to my coat pocket, out. I sat down in the window sill, as I did often when submerging in my studies and unfolded the note. "Dear Haley, Please meet me in Hyde park tomorrow afternoon at noon. – Love Nathaniel"

My eyes must have widened at the contents, for Mother asked what I was doing. I quickly pushed the note into my pocket and smiled. "Nothing mother. All is well." I was surprised beyond belief at this note and even more how forward he was. What about Quinn? Was he not suppose to be Quinn's future husband? Was I not, nothing more than Quinn's little sister, the shame on the family name? Why would he want to meet with me, at such a location at such inappropriate manner. Would it not be much simpler if he'd asked mother for permission. Hadn't Quinn explained to me that that was the only appropriate way of approaching a young unwed girl.

I was so confused. But one thing I knew.. Quinn could not know. Whatever Nathaniel wanted from me, it couldn't possibly have anything to do with Quinn. I might have been ignorant towards the world Quinn wanted so badly, but I knew one thing. If Nathaniel wanted something from Quinn, as he was supposed to, he would have gone to mother.

I could now only state one thing. I was confused. What on earth could he want from me? And why not ask me today why tomorrow in the park?

I collected my belongings from the foyer and went up to my and Quinn's bedroom. Usually I would have told Quinn everything. But this, not this. Impossible.

Quinn was sitting at her dressing table. Brushing her hair. "Hi, Haley. Mrs. Scott just came by to invite us to dinner next weekend! She wanted to get to know the girl 'her son was so smitten with' that's what she said! How amazing is that!" She turned around.

"Oh, how does she know he's smitten with you?" I asked not daring to emphasise 'you'. "Oh I'm sure he's told her, silly. She said he lights up whenever our family is mentioned! How sweet is that?"

I smiled nodded and tried to shrug off the feeling that was nagging in the back of my mind. He was crazy about Quinn and the note was about something completely innocent. It must be.

How else would one explain it? Never shall I get involved with a man. Far too complicated. I took my book and settled in a chair, to concentrate on my studies. Simple.


	5. February 1st 1933

**hi new update!**

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**February 1st 1933 – London, Great Britain.**

"Oh Hello! Lydia, dear you look fabulous!" Mrs. Scott cooed as she open the door for us.

"Oh you do too, Debra!" Mother replied. I stared at the floor and shuffled after my parents and Quinn who was beaming.

"I'm so so sorry we had to reschedule. I can't ever seem to find a time my husband isn't working!" Mrs. Scott said apologetic while motioning for us to coming in. "Mandy, dear would you take coats please" to instructed their maid.

"Ahh.. Quinnevere! You look fantastic Darling. Nathaniel will be so happy to see you." I looked up just to see Mrs. Scott wink at Quinn. I swallowed, guiltily. As I saw Quinn smile widen.

Two weeks ago after I got the note, I had gone to the park to see why it was that Nathaniel wanted to speak with me.

He'd waited for me. And a smile crossed his face once he'd recognised me. "You came!" He beamed. Somewhat shocked I saw his black eye, swollen. "Oh my. Was that my fault?" I exclaimed worried.

He smiled amused. "Yes, it is. Don't worry. I won't go to the police for assault." He chuckled.

I must have looked horrified. "I'm so so sorry. You really scared the life out of me, though." He only grinned at that and then hooked his arm through mine. "Shall we?" I nodded.

We walked, slowly, through the park, enjoying the view and the crispy cold weather. After awhile I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. "Why did you asked me here?" I blurted out. I wasn't really known for my sophistication, anyway.

We were standing under this big tree, out of view of most of the parks occupants at the moment.

"I wanted to tell you something." He said earnestly. He turned to face me. He was at least a foot taller than me. He towered over me. "I... I just have to tell you Haley."

"What?!" I frowned. Against with the amused smile he stared down at me. "I'm absolutely smitten with you..."

No matter what I had thought in the past, this sure wasn't it. I wasn't marriage material. Everyone said it. I didn't want to be. Nobody wanted me to be. I didn't understand.

"Why?" At this he laughed. "What about Quinn. You have to marry Quinn!" I spluttered.

"I don't want to marry Quinn. Quinn is so dull. Like every other girl. I like you, you are different, so pigheaded and perky. I like a girl who's not afraid to be who she is, to be herself." He was quiet as he stared down at me.. "I like you."

What on earth was I suppose to do with this?

"I should go."

"No! Haley wait. Please." I turned around as he grabbed my wrist. "Don't go. Please." I relented and we started walking in silence again. "I don't want to get married. Ever." I told him after a little bit.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I want to go to university. I want to make my own money. And I do not want to have to parade around a man that tells me what to do."

Nathaniel grinned, and said chuckling: "I wouldn't dare to tell you what to do. That's not the kind of husband I want to be and it's not the kind of wife I want."

He halted, and gently gripped my arms, holding me very close to his body. "I want you, Haley. Please tell me you want that too."

I didn't know what to tell him. He seemed so genuine and I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Then when I looked back up him, he was even closer and before I knew it, his lip were pressed against mine. My eye widened in shock, I pulled away and began running. Away from him away from Hyde park. The only person in the world I trusted to tell something, I couldn't tell. Quinn would never look at me again. She'd be crushed.

That was two weeks ago, since then I hadn't seen Nathaniel. But now we had to be together the entire evening. Mrs. Scott lead us into the drawing room, where Mr. Scott and Nathaniel were both seated. "Darling the guest are here." Mrs. Scott announced.

As we entered Nathaniel looked up from the paper and his face lit up. A nervous kid of nausea swirled in my stomach, ruining whatever was left of my appetite. I felt like I might vomit.

"Nathaniel, dear! What happened to you eye!" My mother gushed, at the remains of the black eye I'd hit him.

"Oh, the silly boy walked into a door." Mrs. Scott smiled. "Please sit down"

"Oh my so sorry for you, Nathaniel. Does it hurt?" Quinn asked sweetly. Surely it couldn't still hurt, he'd be a bit of a baby then, wouldn't he.

"Oh it has, but the pain has long since gone, thank you for asking though." About ninety percent of the time the politeness made me sick. We all knew what they were after an what these little dinners were for and still there were so formal.

We all sat down. I sat in the corner of the sofa. As the polite conversation went on, I slowly zoned out. As usual. Because the conversation about the parties and the rumours about misbehaving children were fairly uninteresting. Suddenly as on impulse I got up. Everyone stared at me, waiting for an explanation. "Where can I find the bathroom?" I asked.

"Down the hall." Mrs. Scott provided. I moved towards the drawing room door, when Nathaniel jumped up and said: "Let me show you."

"Oh that's not necessary! I'm sure I'll be able to find it." I muttered.

"It's not a problem." And with one hand placed firmly on my back he led me out of the room. When we reached the foyer, far enough away from the drawing room not to be heard, I turned around an punched Nathaniel in the stomach. "What the hell was that!"

"Leave me alone! I told you! They all want you to marry, Quinn. Quinn loves you! Why can't you just let this go!"

Nathaniel, while hunched over holding his stomach and trying to catch his breath said: 'Quinn doesn't love me. She doesn't know me. If she really knew me she would want to marry me."

My eyes brows raised. "Like me? Bette marry her fast before she doesn't want to marry you anymore. Because I surely won't marry you!"

I stomped off into the kitchen.

I found the kitchen empty and sat down in a corner. Unwilling to go back to my parents, afraid to go out and run into Nathaniel again. Surely I'd done everything right, to make sure no man should ever want me?

"Haley?" His voice resounded through the kitchen, more gentle, more kindly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. It's just the way I feel. I can't help it."

"Like I can't help the way I feel."

"But don't you want someone to take care of you. Someone who not ashamed of the way you are, unlike your parents .. or your sister?"

I was about to answer that when a lot of noise was heard from the hall I jumped up to see what was going on, running out of the kitchen.

The enormous painting that was hanging from the wall across the bathroom had come down, and was broken by the furniture that sat beneath it. I stood there staring at it for a while, as the Scott's and mother and father, followed by Quinn came into the hall. "Oh my! What did you do!" Mrs. Scott Shouted at me. I stared at her. Did she seriously just accuse me of ruining the painting ?

"I.. I .. I didn't" I stuttered. "Then who did? You were the only one here!"

"Haley. Don't lie to us! If you didn't do it. Then who did?" Mother reprimanded.

"I don't know! But I didn't do it!"

Mother looked infuriated, father more worried about the costs... and then I looked at Quinn, she seemed to have tears in her eyes. She looked angry. "Of course she did it. She always ruins everything." Quinn said. My eyes widened. Did she just..? Quinn wouldn't she'd always protected me. Against everyone.

"She didn't do it." His low voice spoke from behind me. All eyes were now on Nathaniel.

"How do you know? You weren't here when it happened Nathaniel." Mrs. Scott reasoned.

"I know. Neither was Haley. She was with me in the kitchen when we heard to noise. So either it fell on its own, or someone else did it."

I turned around. As I was suppose to shout at him that I didn't need his help I could only than muster gratefulness. So I quietly mouthed "thank you."

Mrs. Scott seemed doubtful, but evidently chose to trust her son. My parents however seemed even more upset now. "What were you doing in the kitchen? You were going to the bathroom." Mother demanded to know.

Quinn's eyes were stone set. Hard and upset, tears still at bay.

"I...I..." why was I in the kitchen. To get away from Nathaniel? I could hardly tell them that. To talk to Nathaniel? Being alone with a boy, willingly. Not a good idea.

"She spilled some water from the bathroom sink on her, so I got her a towel to dry her dress with, from the kitchen." Nathaniel provided. I didn't know what to do with it.

He kept on saving my ass. And though I never cared what anyone thought, this was important to Quinn so I didn't want her to be upset with me again. So I let him. I nodded.

I was so confused. My mind told me that Quinn was my sister and she deserved to get a good guy like Nathaniel, while ...

No. Just that. I nodded more firmly. "I'm sorry" I muttered and followed my parents into the drawing room. And throughout the rest of the evening I kept my mouth shut and my hands to myself. For Quinn.

Because there was only sense and sense said it was for Quinn.


	6. February 14th 1933

**February 14th 1933 – Great Britain**

I had tied the last ribbon in Quinn's hair as grandmother knocked rapidly on our door before coming in. "The mail is here ladies." She said smiling.

She held up several crème white envelops. "Quinn, the letters from your admires are here!" and she handed the entire stack to Quinn. There must have been at least ten letters in the pile. Quinn bounced on the bed excitedly and began to open every single letter.

"oh look at that Haley!" She whispered blushing. "It's from Lucas Roe! I didn't know he fancied me! He is nice that is true, very handsome as well. Oh well, I have Nathaniel. And it's almost set in stone that were to be married."

"Oh and look at this one, Duncan Lockhart? I always thought he didn't like me." Quinn mused similar things about every letter. Until the last.

"oh well," she said picking up the last letter. I suppose I saved the best for last this must be Nathaniel's letter. She began to open the letter.

A part of me didn't expect it to be Nathan's and another part of me just hoped it wasn't. I found those feeling confusing. I didn't desire Nathan Scott. Yet there was a part of me that didn't want him to be desiring Quinn, in contrary to what I had been telling myself for so long.

Quinn's face fell. 'It's not from Nathaniel." She told grandmother. Tears were brimming in her eyes. "Maybe he didn't feel it was necessary to send you a letter because he has made it more that clear how he feels about you." Grandmother suggested.

I was sure to burn here, but I wasn't known for my sophistication anyway and said: "Or maybe he changed his mind and isn't interested in you." She could then take up one of her other admirers and that would be better. But instead Quinn started crying more loudly.

"Why would you say that? Like you know anything about men!"

I shook my head picked up my European history book and sat down in the window sill. Dismissive of all the valentine's nonsense.

Haley sat down in the window after that. I loved my sister silly, but she didn't really know what she was talking about. She would be eternally alone, because no man was mad enough to marry her.  
"You know what dear, He'll probably be by later today to bring to letter himself. Along with flowers I'm sure." Grandmother soothed.

"You think that really, Grandmother?"

"I do dear."

I got up and set all the cards on my dresser. "You are absolutely Right, Nathaniel wouldn't forget me on a day like today.

I straightened out my dress and followed grandmother out of the room. I would sit in the drawing room and sow until the doorbell rings and then I would gracefully accept Nathaniel's Valetine's card when he came to bring it.

After and few more hours my fingers began to hurt from the needle. I had been sowing for hours waiting for Nathaniel to come. Haley had come down a few hours ago, that endless book with her. She sat down in the chair across the room. So completely unaware of my misery. I envied her so much for her oblivion.

She just sat there and read. Page after page. I didn't understand but something had changed. I used to tell her everything and she'd tell me everything. But as of late I didn't trust her. She ruined so much, if Nathaniel didn't show it might as well have been her fault. She Haley too, She seemed to be keeping things from me. We didn't speak as much as we used to. When things surprised her she'd ask. Now she didn't ask and even participated in conversations she had acknowledged to know nothing about.

Just then the door bell rang and jumped up. Pacing softly through the room waiting for our housekeeper to open the door for him. I heard soft murmurs in the hall and a little later the maid came in, followed my grandmother and mother.

"A messenger brought this. For Miss James. " Our housekeeper said. I strode forward to take the white Lilies and the red envelop. I was shortly surprised by the choice of flowers but decided not to care for it.

I reached for the letter when she said; Not for you, Miss Quinn. For the other Miss James."

And then all eyes were on Haley. For Haley? "For Haley. Someone sent Haley a valentine's card?"

"Yes, Miss Quinn."

"For Me?" Haley asked from the other side of the room.

"Oh but that is great! Read the card dear. If there is someone that fancies you, you'll marry that person. I won't let this chance slip."

Haley took the letter en opened it carefully. She read the letter and then looked up. "It's not relevant. It's not a valentine's card. The flowers gave it away. Don't worry about it."

I marched out of the room. How dare he write me a note like that. That boy was endlessly stubborn himself. Can't he take no for an answer! I sat in my room on the floor against my bed. And to my own surprise actual tears ran down my cheeks. Why was I crying. This man, that had no right to like me! Then he's kissing me and he's lying for me and now he's demanding I marry him! How preposterous!

Suddenly Quinn leapt onto my bed and swiped the card from my hand. "Dear Haley, quit being so bloody stubborn and be my wife." She read out loud. Who is this man Haley? It sounds like you know him. "Mother! Look at this!"

Mother came marching in. She read the card "He has proposed to you before? And you said no?" Mother's voice was icy. "Yes. I told you mother. I don't want to get married."

"Who is he?" She demanded. "No one important. I don't want to marry him." Mother bend down and took my by my ear and pulled me up from the floor. "You're going to tell us who he is. And what kinda of indecent propositions he has done further. Or I'll take you to your father's office right now!"

Not father's office. Oh I'd been there many times. Father would make me bend over and slap me on the behind with his belt. It had never really been a choice but.. It would kill Quinn wouldn't it?

It's what he surely wanted. That I would tell my parents and that they'd be delighted that a man like him would want to marry me!

Well I didn't want to marry him. "Mother. I swear. I approached me after school awhile ago. He asked me to marry him I told I didn't want to marry him and I left that's it."

Mother didn't seem satisfied by my answer. "Who is he?"

She twisted my ear again. "Nathaniel Scott" I whispered.

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review!


	7. February 22nd 1933

**Hi. I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I've just been so busy I've barely had time to write. But here it is so enjoy. Chapter 8 will but up soon after! **

**-xx- Philine **

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**February 22nd 19933 – London, Great Britain**

My parents were both over the moon as well as greatly upset by the truth.

Mostly because they thought it was a waste of a perfectly good man to marry me instead of Quinn, but too because now they had to admit that Quinn would not be married in the foreseeable future. Mother had taken the note and had gone to confront Nathaniel in person. He had then in front of his parents admitted his feelings for me.

After that long dialogues about the future followed. Both our parents seemed at agreed that there would have to be a marriage. They just weren't sure which one.

My parents seemed convinced that it would be for the best that Nathaniel decided with whom he married, for he was the man. However, Nathaniel's parents made it clear they preferred him to marry Quinn, because .. well. I still was a bit of an odd duck.

Quinn had stopped talking to me completely, once she learned the complete truth she had stopped speaking to me completely. I was apparently, the worst sister in the world.

All of it was greatly confusing. I didn't want to marry Nathaniel. I didn't want to marry at all! Luckily that seemed to be the most balancing factor in the equation. Nathaniel didn't want to marry Quinn, Quinn did want to marry him. I didn't want to marry Nathaniel, but he did want to marry me. Therefore whatever was decided only one of us could be pleased. Or not.

I interjected. "Mother, I know you seem to think that if we all remain as stubborn as we are, only one us of will be pleased, but it's not true. Let Nathaniel marry Quinn. I'll be happy and Quinn will be happy. That's two out of three."

Mother sighed and sat down. Nathaniel gave me an ever amused glance across the room.

"Yes, but we'll never find someone to marry you." Mother stated laboured . "I'm afraid that is the aim, Mrs. James." Nathaniel said. "Haley had decided there is nothing worse than to be bound to any man, for it will take her freedom away. Isn't that so?" Nathaniel seemed ever amused by my resistance against marriage.

"If you understand so well what my view is on the matter, why do you bother?" I countered. He grinned. "Because it is just that spirit that I love about you. I would never want you to feel restraint by me" Quinn began to whimper across the room, real quietly.

Mrs. Scott stood up. "This isn't going anywhere. I think we now are tied in votes from either side.  
My husband and I are far from pleased that Nathaniel prefers Haley over Quinn. But he does. I see you and your husband prefer he'd marry Haley. But Haley herself does not. So 2 to 2."

"Uhem" Haley coughed. "It's three to two, Mrs. Scott. Quinn prefers he'd marry her. That makes Quinn three , two for me."

"Oh well, I suppose you're right. Well that settled than. Nathaniel; you'll be marrying Quinn in June." With that Mrs. James left the room.

Quinn started smiling in the corner of the room. With a gleeful smile to her grandmother, who had no vote, but did have an opinion.

I was disappointed, by my mother. I realized she found Haley a disgrace in general and the idea she'd now become part of our family she found terrifying.  
I however found the idea of marrying Quinn far more disturbing.

I followed my mother out "wait!" I called out for her. "Yes Nathaniel?" She spoke, clearly tired with the subject. "If you're making me marry Quinn, I'd rather not marry anyone."

"Is that so? Is the idea of marrying me so repulsive that you'd rather marry no one, over me?" Quinn whispered as she'd just heard the last of what I'd said apparently.

"Nathaniel, this isn't the time, or the subject to act out over. It's not the end of the world. Deal with it."

I stood in doorway just behind Quinn. For the first time my heart leapt. It was hard to believe that anyone could care so much for me. He really didn't seem to mind that everyone including his parents thought I was a disgrace. No one had ever cared that much.

Mrs. Scott turned away without another word, while actually saying the matter is decided upon.

Quinn and mother putted on their coats and were standing in the hallway waiting for me.

I.. I didn't really know what to do. While I now looked up at Nathaniel, I deemed to see disappointment for the first time. Utter despair.

"I'm sorry.." I spoke.

"I don't really want to hear it Haley. I love you. I've told you that, while I doubt any of your family has ever told you that. You'll receive far more admiration, love and understanding from me, that from any of the people you've doomed yourself to live with."

"I'm gonna find a place of my own. I'm gonna make my own money." I told him. My voice much less sure than it had been in the past.

"As if your parents will let you." He shook his head.

"Haley!" Mother called out for me. "Yes mother I'm coming." I hung my head. I had always been stubborn and convinced of my own truths. I believed in myself more than anything else. So why was I so full of doubt about this decision?

I left and followed my mother, grandmother and Quinn home.

By the end of the night mother had informed father of the decision made and had decided to leave it and proceed with the wedding plans. This was the way it should be. I told myself. This is what everyone wanted. What I wanted.

So why was it so hard to shake this feeling and deep sadness that overcame me. That lingered inside me as grief. Why couldn't I just enjoy Planning my sister's wedding?

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**That's it. Let me know what you think!**


	8. June 1st 1933

**Hi everyone!**

**As promised a quick update! chapter 8! Enjoy.**

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**June 1st. 1933 – London Great Britain**

The house was in a state. Everywhere people were running around making arrangements for Quinn wedding. The wedding was tomorrow at the church around the corner. It had already been decorated and it looked gorgeous. Quinn had eventually started talking to me again and mother insisted I'd be her maid of honor, that looked better to the public.

So now I was standing in a pedestal in a beige dress with many, many bows, while Mrs. Beaumonts was finishing the last details of the dress. And yet in all of the festivities there was still this sense of dread in my stomach. I didn't want to participate. I was wishing tomorrow 'd never come.

All the arrangements had been made. Quinn and Nathaniel had found a house, nearby, absolutely gorgeous. They would be living there after the wedding.

This entire unsettling feeling moved me all day ever since the decision was made. I found it tiresome. Mrs. Beaumont finished with my dress. I stepped down and untied the dress to take it off. I put it back on the hanger and dressed in merely an under dress I left the room to put my own dress back on. While padding back to my own room, I braided my wild mess of curls swiftly.

While minding my hair, I forgot to mind my feet and tripped, going face first to the floor, just to be caught at the last second.

"You should watch your feet better for someone who trips as much as you do." Warm chills ran over my back at hearing that voice. 'Sorry." I whispered. "No problem." My feet finding solid ground again I smiled and looked up at Nathaniel. I hadn't seen much of him in the last months. Mostly because he didn't seem to want to see me. My parents and Quinn made it a habit to go to dinner at the Scott's without me, and they hardly ever came to us. In the wedding planning I had been largely excluded due to the obvious issues.

"How are you?" he asked. "I'm good." I smiled and nodded. A warm sensation filled me when he smiled. I looked up at Nathaniel while his eyes wandered down. From my face, down my neck, my chest, down.

He then grinned. I followed his eyes down and realized quickly I was merely wearing my under dress.

A gorgeous deep crimson red blush crept down her chest. She looked so pretty. Though a part of me didn't think she'd be embarrassed. I loved it though. My heart pounded in my chest. She still took my breath away. The realisation that this girl had refused to marry me hit again. She tried to cover herself up and with an apologetic smile she moved past me into a room across the hallway.

A few seconds later she emerged from the room in a silk robe tied around her waist. "Sorry" She whispered. "What brings you here?" she asked carrying on the conversation. My mere attention was with the way she had changed over the last months. Her face seemed slimmer somehow and her hair lighter. She seemed thinner yet her curves more pronounced. Still her smell was intoxicating.

"Uhm, my mother sent me to ask your mother about the flowers. Have you seen her?" Haley looked up at me with her big brown eyes projecting that same old innocence as they had in the past. That hadn't changed.

"Uhm Yes, they're in there." She smiled. "Excuse me." She held her robe closed with her hands gripped around the fabric and again she disappeared into the room across the hall after pointing in the direction I was to go.

I crossed the hallway and wrapped my fingers around the doorknob. I pushed open the door and came eye to eye with my fiancée in a wedding dress. A creation of white lace and silk.

"Nathaniel! What are you doing here?! Go Away you can't see me like this." Her screeching dumped from my state and I hurried out of the room followed by my future mother-in- law.

"What was that! What are you doing here? Didn't your mother raise you to knock upon entering?" Mrs. James huffed. "I apologize Mrs. James. I came to speak with you at my mother's request."

"And you just barged in? What kind of man just walks into a second floor bedroom, without knocking."

"I told him you were in there. I suppose I forgot to mention that we were fitting." Haley smiled sheepishly. "Leave my sight Haley. I'll pray the day you learn to be a decent human being."

Haley turned her eyes away, to the floor. Silenced by her mother.

"Mrs. James. This wasn't Haley. I should have knocked regardless." Mrs. James was one of those people that knew how to make a saying as 'if looks could kill' real.

"I think you should stop talking Mr. Scott. "

Half an hour later I left the James house quietly. I had greatly upset Quinn by seeing her wedding gown and my contact with Haley had agitated Mrs. James. They had been trying to keep us apart. I had hardly seen Haley since the day they had decided I was to marry Quinn.

As days passed my tolerance for Quinn's insufferable vanity waned. Even her voice alone could ruin my day, while there were very few things these days that could make up for it.

"Nathaniel.." Her voice resounded from down the street. Those few times I did have the pleasure of hearing en seeing her; It made my day. I did love her. She might be stubborn and defiant, but it were these little moments I knew she cared for me too. Like she knew that I was right: I was the only one that cared, really cared for her.

"Haley."

"I'm so sorry. Nathaniel. I wasn't thinking. I tend to do that sometimes. My apologies." She linked her fingers together in front of her body, but unlike usual her eyes stared straight at me.

Just like that the words just came out. "Marry me Haley please." I took her hands and held her eyes. For the longest time she didn't look away. Until she did.

"Nathaniel. You are marrying Quinn tomorrow."

"It's not too late. I love you." She was so young. Not even an adult and yet she was so gorgeous and so perfect. I took her hand and walked her through the park. In the hope of gaining some privacy.

I sat her down on a bench. My hands traced the sides of her body, holding her slim waist tucked between my hands. I loved her. It seemed dramatically impossible to have to live forever with another woman. While all I wanted was her. She was a disgrace in everyone's eyes but mine. All I could see was a girl so real and strong-headed it took my breath away.

Nathaniel was probably the only one that ever told me they loved me. Except for Quinn. She too had told me, but stop doing so a long time ago. I had been sceptical towards his words. All men were charming and they were sweet talking and then they were not. But it was harder and harder to ignore such adoration.

"brother-in-law Brother-in-law Brother-in-law." I chanted to myself. I found myself waning from my projected career path every day. Somehow everything seemed to be about Nathaniel.

Warm hands cupped my face and a second later soft lips touched mine. Chills ran down my back all the way to my toes. Suddenly my lips were moving and I was kissing him back.

After a few seconds I tore my lips away. "No Nathaniel. I'm not that girl. Leave me alone!" I got up and stormed away. Tomorrow he would marry Quinn and everything would quiet down. It would all be okay. It had to be. Tears welled up but I forced them away. I hardly understood these emotions. It couldn't be like this.


	9. June 23rd 1935

**Sorry it took me so long! I've just had a real hectic few months with me going to live on my own and school and all that stuff! it been real hectic. **

**here a new chapter enjoy!**

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**July 23rd 1935 – London, Great Britain**

We would have been happy. We should have been. But the last two years of my life had been miserable. The very absence of a grandchild at grandmother's funeral alone was public humiliation. The pitying looks I got, from even Haley, meant everybody, absolutely everybody, knew what a sham of a marriage this was.

But it was true. Nathaniel hadn't touched me. After the wedding we'd gone home. I had been very excited about what was to come, but when we dressed for bed he turned off the lights, lay down, turned around and fell asleep.

It had gone like that for the last two years... tears welled up in my eyes as I threw a rose on grandmother's grave. Not really because I'd miss her. She had hardly ever cared for us. She was mean. When she'd asked for grandchildren, she'd only cared about the family reputation. I had told her about the problem. That Nathaniel wouldn't touch me. She didn't care. She said there were ways.. I returned to Nathaniel's side. Like I always did. He took my hand and we walked away.

At the reception, I stood in the corner of the room watching people. That´s what I did.

It seemed much like a party rather than a funeral. I couldn't really say I'd miss grandmother, but still these people showed very little grieve for someone they knew. Mom and Dad had me chat to all these young chap's. Hardly any of them were interested. That was good. Some days I wondered if my heart had healed any since Nathaniel married Quinn.

They looked uphappy. Quinn looked miserable and Nathaniel indifferent.

"Haley" Like every other party Nathaniel was standing right behind me. Whispering for my attention.

"Not again Nathaniel." I pleaded. "One dance Haley please." I sighed and turned around. "It is hardly a place for dancing don't you think?"

"Haley.." He pleaded, sounding more vulnerable and desperate than I'd ever heard him before. His hand ran over my shoulder, one finger along my arm. Chills ran down my back.

Whenever he did this I wonder if people noticed, if they knew..

Nathaniel pulled at my wrist, away from the people and away from the crowd. "Haley, I haven't seen you in a while.." the space he'd pulled me into was not very big and a solid excuse for Nathaniel to stand very, very close. "I've missed you." He whispered.

I hated these moments.. I was powerless against my own feelings for Nathaniel. As much as I didn't want these feelings, my eyes were drawn to him whenever he was around. I was always aware of his presence and always looking out for him. So much that even after all this time, my mind was still solemnly occupied by him. It felt treacherous. To Quinn and to myself. How could I go on living if I held on to him like this. Was there still a part of me that just hoped things could be fixed after all. It wasn't likely they could. I created this situation myself. I didn't want this so why wasn't I able to convince the rest of me of that.

But as always whenever he was close the chills ran down my back and my heart beat just a little faster. Love him.

Nathaniel didn't speak.. He knew that words were know use. I am head strong. Determined.

Instead he dipped his head and brought his lips to my neck. His warm breath spreading over the sensitive skin of my neck, creating goose bumps all over my body, all the way down to my toes.

His lips touched my skin, soft and warm.. his tongue followed, turning circles over my skin. I released a sigh an griped his arm to steady myself.

A warm wave of emotion ran swiftly through my body. I couldn't move. I didn't really want to. I was telling myself that he was forcing himself on me, that I had no choice. But frankly, I wasn't trying to fend him of at all. I was enjoying it.

I gasped at the incredible sensation I felt and Nathaniel pulled away, grinning having made this point perfectly clear. Fighting him, the feelings, everything; It was exhausting.

It took everything not to give in completely. But the look on Quinn's face across the room we just left, gave me all the energy I needed to stay strong. Quinn would die if I gave in, all she'd worked for her entire charade would have to fall and she'd suffer most.

I struggled to find the words to push Nathaniel away. "Nate.." the whisper broke the silence.

"Not again. We cannot... Keep doing.. this." I breathed shakily.

"I know, But you don't seem to realise that for this to stop, there is only one way out." He looked at me pointedly.

'Can't do it.. Nate. I'll fight it as long as I have to.'

"I can end it myself you know. Divorce Quinn. Tell everyone who wants to know that I love you."

I turned around and walked away from him. "You wouldn't do that to Quinn. To me , maybe, but not to Quinn. She suffered enough the last two years."

"Don't make Quinn out to be the victim, she knew perfectly well what she was getting into! She knows I love you and that you love me. But she was to self-centred to care what I wanted. She didn't care.. and neither did you! It was all about you and Quinn and you're perfect worlds. I was just a pawn in your games, your charade's. I really thought you weren't like that, that's what I love about you so much.. but you play the game now like everyone else."

I nodded. "True. Does that mean you finally see I'm not the girl you want?" breathing was difficult after that one question. As it hung in the air there between us. Neither answer was preferable. The idea that he may actually me be over me, hurt possibly even more than the idea to live in the shadow of their dysfunctional marriage forever.

"I don't know. I wish it were that easy. I wish letting go of someone, who doesn't want you were that easy. But it's not."

I only now saw Nathaniel was crying. For the first time ever I saw a man cry.

"but if you want me to go on, then I will. I'll try to forget you. I'll give Quinn that baby she wants so badly, I'll try to make this marriage work and hopefully you won't have to see me again. If that's what you want."

I swallowed hard, pushing away the tears, the shaking in my legs, the nauseated feeling in my stomach. "It-t's w-what I w-w-ant."

"Fine"

Nathaniel barged out of the room, away from the party, away from me. I'd finally done it. It's pushed him away so far he'd never come back. Apparently there's only so much rejection a man's ego can handle.

But Quinn didn't get pregnant. Not then and not in the year that followed. Although she looked happier, more satisfied with her life, there was still no baby.

In fragments of conversations I heard that thing were better between her and Nathaniel. He'd had eventually bedded her. She's tearfully happy described the moment to Mother.

I cried too.

The change in their marriage was noticed by not just me, but by outsiders as well. Now the rumour went around that Quinn couldn't have children and that was the reason that after three years of marriage she was still childless. This was something Quinn had considered herself after a year of trying. But this was something even I couldn't help.


End file.
